Fear Itself
by FlowerPot21
Summary: The CSIs deal with the aftermath of a horrific attack that injurs Sara and causes her to be silent. GS some CW. Psychological stuff.
1. Default Chapter

Fear Itself

It was the worst pile up in the history of Las Vegas and Grissom, Catherine, Warrick and Nick stood just twenty feet away, dreading their daunting task, and having to deal with their comrade Sara, who was missing amongst the twisted metal and suffocating smoke. 

"What's the plan?" Catherine said over the noise.

Grissom scanned the destruction. 

"Just process what you can," he said. "Help anyone that's injured, and do a body count."

Everyone received oxygen masks and then ventured into the makeshift hell before them.

There were cars that were literally flattened by other cars landing on them, there were close to five rollovers and the rest of the cars on the road were going in various directions in order to escape some kind of peril. There was blood everywhere on the cars, and there were still people, long dead, inside of them. Because of the masks, they were spared the coppery smell of the blood and burning flesh.

The further they ventured into the pile up, the more they feared for the life of Sara. Nick found the Denali. It was smashed in on one side, and the windows were completely shattered. One of the tires blew, and it was on one side in the median.

"I found Sara's vehicle!" He called.

Grissom was the first to arrive, followed by the rest of the team.

"Sara!" They all called.

There was no answer from within the truck. Nick climbed up to get a glimpse on the inside. There was no sign of Sara.

"She's not in there," he said. 

"I'm going to go check the triage over there," Grissom said quickly. "You guys finish walking through. We've got to figure out what the hell happened here."

***

The makeshift triage was hectic. There were children screaming, people asking the officers where their loved ones were, and people with mild injuries assisted the nurses and doctors on the scene.

Grissom walked through the triage, looking at all of the people. They were in shock, in pain, and scared. People were stretching out their hands toward him, beckoning for help. At this point, his mind was only on Sara. He kept his hope that she was alive. Sara was not one to give up on life easily. She knew how to survive. He prayed that he was thinking was true.

"Sir, unless you're injured or looking for a loved one, you can't be in here," a doctor said, sweaty from running around.

"I'm from the crime lab," Grissom said. "I'm looking for one of my colleagues."

"Okay, go ahead sir," the doctor said and then tended to someone else.

After a few more minutes, he found her. She was sitting on a gurney, and a nurse was taking care of minor wounds. He thanked God that her injuries were only minor. He went up to her. 

"Do you know her sir?" The nurse asked.

"Yes," he said. 

The nurse finished stitching Sara up then she left to take care of the next patient.

Grissom put a hand on her cheek and looked into her distant eyes.

"Sara," he started. "Sara, are you okay?"

She stared straight at him. Her eyes were full of fear and horror, but she said nothing. She was in a state of shock, just as she had been after the lab explosion. Her skin was clammy, and her face was pale. 

"Sara," Grissom said a little more firmly. "Come back to me honey."

Her breathing became harder and shaky hands beckoned him closer. He obliged her. Her eyes were wide and her pupils were completely rounded. She gripped his shirt tightly and she lay her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her and held her rather limp form to him tightly. 

"It's going to be okay," he whispered.

The same nurse came back.

"I need to check her blood pressure," she said. "She's still in shock, looks like."

Grissom pulled away and he had to unclasp Sara's hands from his shirt. Her eyes were distant still, and she was like a rag doll, being carried around, turned every which way easily. She was so lithe and slender to begin with that now, she looked half her size.

The nurse was saying something to Sara that she obviously was not comprehending.

"Sara?" The nurse inquired calmly. "Your blood pressure is very low. We're going to escort you to the hospital, understand?" The nurse asked as she stroked Sara's hair. "Can you give me a nod sweetie?"

Sara did not respond.

***

Nick and Catherine finally came upon the source of the chaos.

"Two eighteen wheelers," Catherine started. "Both completely destroyed by explosions."

"Man, this is bad," Nick said. "I'm worried about Sara."

"We all are Nick," Catherine said.

They walked cautiously around the destroyed trucks. There were pieces of metal strewn all over the highway and the medians, both of the trucks were at odd angles, poised to cause destruction, and there was a large blast area.

"Do you think this was all planned?" Nick asked.

"Definitely," Catherine said. "This wasn't some freak accident. This was deliberate."


	2. Chapter Two

Fear Itself

Chapter Two

Grissom was sitting in the waiting rooms on the floor that Sara was on, impatiently waiting on news about Sara. She was in complete and total shock, and her blood pressure became severely low. Grissom couldn't forget her eyes; they were distant and unblinking. He attributed it to the shock from the entire situation. Sara also suffered a cut on her forehead, and she had bruises, cuts, and abrasions on her arms and hands. Her ankle was a bit swollen from a small sprain, but it wasn't broken. Over all, she and few other people were lucky. 

"Hey you," Catherine said rather cheerfully, despite the circumstances.

Grissom looked up at her.

"Hey," he said. 

"How's Sara?" She asked, sitting next to him.

"I don't know yet," Grissom answered. "All I know is that she's in shock."

"I'll bet," Catherine said solemnly. "Poor thing. First the lab explosion, now this, just over a year later," Catherine said, the guilt evident in her voice. "That girl has been through so much. I hope she's going to be okay."

"I called her parents," Grissom said. "Her mother was hysterical. They're going to be here in a few hours."

"Well, this is going to be all over the news," Catherine said. "Nick and I saw the two semis. Completely destroyed by explosions."

"Intentional?" Grissom asked.

"Definitely," Catherine said. "All I can think about is what if Lindsay was on the bus to my sister's when all this happened…"

"Don't think about that," Grissom said.

Grissom buried his face in his hands and sighed.

"Her eyes," he started. "They were so hollow and distant. I'd never seen her eyes like that before…not even after the explosion."

After a few more minutes, a doctor came out of Sara's room.

Catherine and Grissom stood up.

"Sara's doing fine," the doctor said. "She was very shaken up. We gave her some medication for her low blood pressure. She's sleeping right now, but when she wakes up, don't expect her to be lively. She's responsive, but she won't speak at all. I can't even tell if she feels pain anywhere else."

"Is she going to come out of it?" Catherine asked.

"Eventually," the doctor said. "But one never can tell. She's going to suffer some PTSD which is not uncommon behavior after times like these."

"Thank you doctor," Grissom said.

Grissom and Catherine walked into Sara's room. Her back was to the door, and they could hear her heavy breathing from sleep.

"Wow," Catherine chuckled. "I've never actually seen Sara sleep."

Grissom smirked as he approached Sara. She looked peaceful for the moment in her sleep. Grissom took her hand and squeezed it. 

"Your parents are on the way to see you," he whispered. "Thank God you're okay."

He knew that Sara could hear him and she could.

Sara had retreated so far into herself, that she felt like she was a prisoner of her own subconscious. She wanted to say something, but the words never came. She felt like after what she witnessed, words were not enough anymore, and she abandoned the idea of communication all together.

Grissom pushed a strand of hair from her face before getting ready to leave.

Catherine and Grissom walked out together.

***

Mark and Terri Sidle walked through the halls of Desert Palm to get to their daughter. They were both nervous about seeing their daughter. For one, they had not seen their daughter in years, and two, they did not know in what condition Sara was in.

"Sara Sidle," Mark said.

"Room three eleven," the head nurse said.

Sara's parents rushed to the room. They found Sara with her arms wrapped around her knees and her chin placed on top of her kneecaps. 

"Sara," Terri whimpered. "My baby."

Sara didn't even flinch when she heard her parents come in.

"Hey kiddo," her father said. "We're glad that you're okay." 

Terri kissed Sara's forehead and smoothed down her hair lovingly.

"Sara, it's mom," she said. 

Sara just kept staring forward.

"Honey," her mother cried. "Please look at me," she pleaded tearfully. "What's wrong? What happened? What happened to you?"

Sara still did not say anything. She just laid back down, and turned away from her parents.

Terri couldn't stop the tears that threatened to spill over. She did not know what was wrong with her daughter.

"What happened to her Mark?" She cried woefully. "What happened to my baby?" 

Grissom came in and saw the scene. 

"Mr. and Mrs. Sidle?" Grissom inquired.

Mark and Terri turned to him. Grissom noticed that Sara had both of their features, and it was hard to tell who she looked like the most. He could tell that she got her eyes from her mother, there was no mistaking that. As far as her father's contribution, she had his nose and mouth. Terri had long hair that traveled down her back and it was naturally curly like Sara's hair was. 

"Yes," Mark said. "Are you a doctor?"

"Um, no, not a medical doctor," he said. "Anyway, I'm Sara's colleague," he said, deciding not to mention the fact that he was her supervisor. "I'm Gil Grissom."

A hint of recognition crossed Terri's face.

"Have we met somewhere before?" She asked. "Your name sounds familiar."

Grissom thought back as hard as he could, then he remembered and grinned.

"Sara's graduation," he said.

"Oh, that's right," Terri said. "Honey, don't you remember Gil Grissom?"

Mark furrowed his eyebrows. "No, must have been at the buffet," he chuckled. "Either way, it's nice to see you. Can you tell us what's going on?"

Grissom could not tell them because he himself did not know.

"Sir, to be honest, I really don't know," he said. "There was an explosion on the highway here, and Sara was injured. She hasn't spoken since yesterday."

"Oh God," Terri said in a trembling voice. "What's wrong with her?" 

"Well, she only had a few minor cuts," Grissom explained. "But, as far as her silence, I don't know."

"Well, is she going to be okay?" Mark asked. "Is she going to talk?"

"I don't know," Grissom said with a sigh. "I don't know."

The air in the room was thick with tension and fear on Terri's part. Grissom was beginning to worry about Sara as well. 

A nurse walked in with a tray of food for Sara.

"Sara," she said quietly. "Sara, you're going to have to eat something."

Sara did not stir.

"Come on Sara," Terri begged of her daughter as she stroked her hair. "You have to eat something sweetie."

Sara did not move a muscle and she continued to stare at a spot on the wall. Terri leaned her head against Sara's and bawled for her distant daughter. 

"Come back to us Sara," she cried. "Please come back to us."

***

It was the hardest thing Grissom had to do, but it was necessary. He put his signature on papers to admit Sara to a psychiatric facility.

It had been over two weeks since the explosion, now deemed a terrorist attack, and Sara had not spoken a word. She was responsive to voices and touches, but she still would continue to stare at whatever she was transfixed on. She barely ate, and she was extremely pale and frail looking. Grissom tried several times to get her to say one word, but his attempts were unsuccessful. 

Sara's parents had to go back home to run their business. They gave Grissom permission to sign what ever he needed to in order to get Sara some help, and that's exactly what he did. His heart couldn't bear it, but he knew that he had to for Sara's sake. Sara was slipping away, and he wanted to save her because he couldn't think of losing Sara to herself.

Her eyes were now fixed on his as the doctors rolled her gurney into the facility. He could see absolutely no emotion in her eyes; it scared him to death and he had to look straight ahead. He could feel her gaze burning a hole right through him. He held her hand tightly.

"Everything's going to be okay," he assured her while stroking back her hair. "You're going to be fine."

She blinked slowly, then she turned her head away to stare at something else. When they got to the facility, he had to let her hand go.

"Bye Sara," he said.

The doctor stayed behind with Grissom.

"How long do you think she'll be like that?" Grissom asked, a little fear seeping into his voice.

''It depends on her," the doctor said. "It could take days, months, or in some cases, even years before she utters another word. She's been through a rough time. All she has is time. She's not violent…yet. That's usually the next step."

"Can they help her?" Grissom asked.

"Maybe, but with this kind of condition, it really depends on her," the doctor


	3. Chapter Three

Fear Itself

Chapter Three

Grissom entered his townhouse exhausted, and full of worry. His heart was heavy from having to admit Sara to the psychiatric facility, but he knew that she would be safe there with people to watch over her, make sure that she bathed, and ate. His hopes that Sara would get through her trauma were shattered. She was usually so strong, and brave. 

He blamed himself for her vulnerability. He helped her tap into that naïve and vulnerable side that Sara was not aware of. He had put her in positions that no one should ever have to be put in and she constantly grappled with her feelings over him, while he was so sure for many years that he loved her, but he just couldn't bring himself to say it to her. Now if he said it, he wasn't sure if she would hear it or not. 

He felt the beginnings of a migraine and he rested on his couch. 

The rest of the team would probably inquire about Sara and he decided that he'd be honest with them. There was no sense in pretending that she was going to be okay in a little while. Sara needed serious help, and he could no longer deny that.

He didn't want to turn on the television because he knew that the pile up would be on all of the stations for hours and he didn't want to have to see the carnage all over again after seeing it up close. It was a wonder that he even made it through the whole process knowing that Sara was among the injured. She was lucky as far as physical health goes, but mentally, whatever she saw would be etched in her memory for a long time coming.

Grissom rubbed his temples and closed his eyes to the memory of Sara's eyes. Her eyes were always alight with compassion and expectation. She had come in like that earlier in the shift. He sent her off to a crime scene; that was the reason why she was on the highway in the first place. Her crime scene was a floater. Grissom told her that he would meet her up there in an hour and she nodded with a slight grin as she headed out. Within that hour, there was pure and total chaos, and it had affected everybody in different ways.

It was affecting Grissom in ways that he never thought anything could ever affect him; that was only so because he thought it would never happen to him. Sara would always be right there within his reach. Now, it was as if she was being pulled farther and farther away from him by some unseen force. Lately, in his dreams, all he could see was Sara holding out a desperate hand to him and bidding him come closer, and as soon as he got just close enough, she seemed that much farther away and then his subconscious would fade and he would no longer see her beautiful face.

The pain of his migraine was unbearable, and he took one of his prescription pills. All of a sudden, he felt the tickle of something wet and warm going down his cheek. It was a tear, no doubt, and he hadn't shed not a single one in a long time over anything. Sara didn't realize how powerful the effect she had on him was. She was the driving force in his life, and for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to admit that. 

***

Catherine gazed out to the moon rising in the sky, bearing a beautiful and unique orange tint that had always fascinated her. She watched the moonlight filter into her now tepid coffee as she splayed her fingers out on the rather dirty table.

Dirty tables and tepid coffee was the least of her worries. The ominous and undeniable fact that terrorism had come to Las Vegas loomed over her head, and she felt that there was no refuge. She couldn't find refuge within herself, nor Grissom, Nick, or Warrick. 

That was the reason that she had not gone home to Lindsay as of yet. Catherine had to get her head straight and make herself be brave so that she wouldn't worry her little girl, who was still too young to understand the things people do to each other. 

The attack that had happened two weeks before seemed to make the whole city realize its own mortality, and a somber mood permeated the normally rushed and exhilarated atmosphere of Sin City.

Twenty three people were killed in the unprecedented attack. Ten of the victims were killed near where the two eighteen wheelers exploded. Of the six cars that were near the trucks, including Sara's, Sara was the only survivor. As for the other thirteen, either they were killed by their cars being smashed by other cars, rollovers, or head on collisions with other cars. Sara was the only eye witness to what went on before the horrific scene played itself out.

Catherine understood Sara's silence. Sometimes, talking wouldn't rid you of the bad memories.

With a long, heavy sigh, Catherine looked at her watch and decided that it was time to go home to Lindsay.

As she drove home, she decided to take the access road instead. She'd been avoiding getting on the freeways, and she knew that eventually, she would have to start taking them because it was the fastest way to get from point A to point B. People had often said that the terrorists would be victorious if people feared everyday life. That was exactly what they wanted: fear. If people were afraid to get up in the morning and head out to work, then they had succeeded. Catherine knew she couldn't let them win. She was stronger than that.

When she walked into her home, Lindsay was fast asleep on the couch, and the baby sitter was sitting in the arm chair reading a magazine.

"Hey Tasha," Catherine said with a smile. "I'm sorry I kept you waiting."

"It's okay Ms. Willows," the seventeen year old said, throwing the magazine lightly onto the coffee table.

Catherine paid the young woman and bade her goodnight. She then turned her attention to Lindsay, who was sleeping like the angel she was. 

Catherine knew that if it wasn't for Lindsay, she'd probably would have still been married to Eddie, rest his soul, and she would have still had a habit. The day she found out she was pregnant with Lindsay was the day she turned her life around, and she never regretted a single thing since then.

She woke up her ten year old daughter and put her to bed.

Once she felt that Lindsay was safe and secure in the sanctity of her own bedroom, Catherine went on to bed herself. 

She changed out of her work clothes and put on a night shirt. She stared at her queen sized bed. She had not shared that bed with a partner in a long time, and she felt even more lonely. She never outwardly showed that she was lonely; in the privacy of her home, she was as lonely as the ugly duckling. It didn't help to admit to herself that she was almost approaching forty and that she wasn't getting any younger.

The pile up scared the wits out of her, and all she could think about was dying alone. It was not a good thing to think about, but it was a constant in her thoughts.

With a melancholy sigh, she turned down the covers and climbed into bed. She could sleep on whatever side she wanted, for it didn't matter anymore. The coldness of the bed chilled her right to the bone and she longed for warmth. It wasn't the cold; she was scared.

She leaned over and picked up the phone and dialed the only number that was on her speed dial.

"Hey," she said softly. "Did I wake you? Oh…well, I was wondering if you could come over to my house for a little while…just because…yeah…I'm afraid…I don't know, I just need somebody right now and you're the only person I could think of…okay…bye."

She hung up the phone and snuggled deeper into her covers. 

***

For some reason, sleep never came easily to Warrick, and now that he was in the midst of investigating the utter destruction from two weeks before, sleep seemed to have vanished. It became an intangible need and he was in no shape to pursue it.

He admitted that he was shaken up a little; knowing that Sara was the only eye witness to the whole ordeal practically, and the fact that she had not been well enough to describe what happened since then didn't help anything.

Anxiety had gripped the entire city of Las Vegas, and that was something that had never been felt in the city before; Warrick figured that he should know since he was born and raised in the Babylon like city. It had always been considered the other city that never slept. There were always lights on, and there was always some action somewhere. He used to be a part of that action until he almost lost his job. 

He quit that life because he had worked so hard to get to where he was so that he could start another life. Not saying that he didn't get out every once in a while, but he traded in most of his old life for new.

Part of that new life was being there for others because most of the time, he could relate; if there was one thing he knew about people, it was that they had ticks, and he understood ticks because he was a man of many ticks. Another fact was that he was no different from them. Most of the time he'd filled those roles of teen outcast, addict, lovesick, heartbroken, and sometimes, just plain old tired. He'd known all of those emotions and when faced with someone in those kinds of situations, he felt an obligation to help them.

Now, he was on his way to Catherine's house. He took the freeway. There was no sense in being afraid of getting on the freeway. He figured that whatever happens, happens and he was powerless to stop destiny.

He pulled into the driveway and parked. The entire front of the house was dark, but he could see the soft glow of light from the side, which obviously was her bedroom.

He rang the door bell. He glanced around the porch. In the day time, a visitor would be able to see Lindsay and Catherine's handiwork. There were colorful flowerpots and the wooden bench was painted in different colors. Just in front of the porch was a flower patch that contained narcissus, violets, and foxgloves. They were rather odd combinations, but somehow, it seemed to work, and it made the house beautiful. 

Warrick heard the front door unlocking from within; he'd barely heard her footsteps, and he knew that she still had that dancer's grace about her. Toe-ball-heel. That's what they were taught to remember. He always told her that she'd be a great dancer (not exotically). She never took any dancing classes, it was just a natural talent that she could have built on.

When she opened the door, he immediately looked away, slightly embarrassed at the sight of her legs. It didn't help that they were silky, long, and satiny looking. It was the first time that he'd ever seen her partly dressed. Her attire, while still sexy, was professional, never bearing anything more than some cleavage, and now here were her legs, in bare glory as he tried his hardest not to give them a longer look in passing as he entered the house.

Catherine, in her haste to welcome Warrick, had not put any pants on with her shirt, and she was beet red as she saw him look away.

"Come in," she said as she stepped aside.

He stepped into the house tentatively, and stood in the foyer.

"Can I get you something to drink?" She asked, nervously tugging at her shirt as if it would magically cover her up.

"No, I'm good thanks," Warrick said.

All of a sudden, all self consciousness in Catherine was replaced by her earlier need for comfort and warmth. She needed to know that she wasn't the only one feeling what she was feeling. 

"Um, you can take your coat off if you want and throw it on the couch," she said in a small voice. 

He took off his coat and did with it as Catherine instructed. There were no pretenses and no words spoken. They simply let their eyes communicate what they'd been trying to say to each other for years, and what they'd been trying to feel for days. 

Was this the time for such feelings? Not knowing the answer, Warrick journeyed into the unknown as he felt himself being led by Catherine to her bedroom. 

She let go of his hand and closed the door, then she walked past him and got back in her bed.

She looked at him with a pleading expression. 

"I really need you tonight," she whispered. "I don't have anyone else."

Warrick felt like he was frozen in time. He was in the bedroom of the woman that he'd been desiring for years and now he was rendered speechless by her confession. 

Suddenly, he regained his motor skills and he moved over to her bed. He sat down and took off his shoes before laying next to her. She sighed as she leaned her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"For what?" He asked, knowing that really, it was s dumb question.

"For being there for me," she said, now looking up at him. "You're the only one that stands in the way between me and the edge."

"You're welcome," he said.

She stared deep into his eyes and before he knew it, her lips were on his and he didn't know what to do. The emotion in the room was thick, and the air became thin as the kiss gradually deepened. Warrick could no longer resist Catherine Michelle Willows and he ran his fingers through her silky reddish blond hair.

He felt her hands sneak under his shirt as his hands caressed her legs. They traveled all the way up to her bottom. She moaned and pulled her lips away from his and began to kiss his neck. He did the same to her and somehow, in the process, clothes started to come off. Catherine had begun to unbutton his shirt from the bottom button, and he hiked her shirt up farther and farther.

"Catherine," he whispered.

"Yes?" She asked, her eyes and her voice loaded with pleasure.

"Should we be doing this right now?" He asked.

He didn't want to ask that question, but he didn't want to take advantage of her feelings. That would be wrong on his part and that would ruin their friendship. 

"I don't want to be afraid," she whispered. 

She kissed him again and there was no more talking.

They eventually got all of their clothes off, and the bedroom and the bed itself became much warmer as they made love for the first time. They stayed quiet out of credence to Lindsay, but it was quite a struggle for Catherine because she savored every touch, kiss, nip, and motion Warrick delivered to her.

There was partly silence, except for the gasps and encouragements from either Catherine, or both of them.

They swallowed each other's moans of passion when they climaxed with a deep, sensual, and satisfied kiss and they pulled away from each other. Catherine was panting desperately and she had her eyes closed tightly and Warrick buried his face in her neck.

Later, they just laid in bed, not regretting one second of their long awaited moment together.

***

Grissom found Sara sitting rather listlessly on the couch in the visitation lounge the afternoon he visited her. She was staring at something, and she didn't even turn to him when he said hello.

The nurse brought him a light lunch in the hopes of him encouraging Sara to eat.

"You look beautiful," Grissom said to her as he peeled the banana that was a part of the lunch. He took off a small piece and held it close to her lips.

She made no move to eat it or push it away. He sighed and said, "Sara, you have to eat something honey," he coaxed. "You're going to blow away in the wind if you don't."

Again, she didn't respond, and Grissom ate the piece himself. She turned and looked at him for a moment before curling herself up into a little ball and placing her head atop her knees, staring blankly. The other patients in the psychiatric ward were rather intimidated by Sara's emotionless stare, and it caused an uproar in the visiting lounge. 

He tried again in vain to get her to eat something, but she wouldn't, and he ended up abandoning the lunch as the nurses came and took care of her.

"We were hoping we wouldn't have to do this today," one young looking nurse said rather sadly. 

Grissom watched as the nurse took Sara's arm, felt for a vein, and slipped in an IV of something for Sara to stay nourished in under two minutes. Sara made no motion to move, and it took quite a bit of coaxing on the nurse's part to get her to even stand up.

"Do you want to go for a walk back to your residence hall? C'mon, let's go for a walk," the nurse said lovingly. "Would you like to join us sir?"

The facility that Sara was in was beautiful. The grounds were crisp and clean from a fresh cutting, and it was relaxing. It was large, with different wings and areas.

"Sometimes a little walk livens her up," the nurse chuckled. "But not too much. So, are you a relative?"

Grissom turned to the nurse. "No, I work with her," he explained. 

"Oh," she said solemnly. "I know you must be worried sick."

Grissom nodded. 

Sara was walking rather slowly, and he wasn't sure if it was because the nurse set the pace, or if it was Sara's pace. 

Everything was calm until Sara collapsed and began screaming and flaying her arms and legs around. The IV pole was thrown to the ground, and Grissom was stunned. He kneeled down and helped the nurse get control of Sara.

"Hold on Sara," the nurse said firmly. "Calm down."

Grissom held her arms down and allowed the nurse to give Sara a sedative.

"There," the nurse cooed as Sara slowly calmed down. "It's okay. You'll feel better in a second."

Grissom didn't know what was going on. He felt that he himself might have a breakdown just from witnessing Sara's condition. She seemed to have deteriorated since the last time he visited her, and he had no idea about her screaming fits. Sara's mental condition had gone from bad to worse, and he knew that he would have to come to terms with the fact that she may never recover.

Two other nurses came out with a gurney.

"How often does she do that?" Grissom asked.

"She's only done it about four times over the last couple of weeks," the nurse explained, now out of breath. "We have to put her in restraints at night to keep her from hurting herself, and she's on suicide watch as a precaution."

Grissom shook his head at the severity of what Sara was going through.

He couldn't look at her anymore, for his heart was hurting. 

As he walked back to his car, his cell phone rang.

"Grissom," he answered solemnly. 

"Hey," Catherine said from the other line. "We've got the accident set up if you want to come see."

"Yeah," he said. "I'll be there in about twenty minutes."

"Okay," Catherine sighed. "How's Sara?"

"Not good," he said. "I can't talk about her right now."

"Alright," Catherine conceded. "I'll see you then."

"Bye," Grissom said, then he hung up.

***

Grissom walked in and met Catherine, Nick, Warrick, and Archie in the audio/visual room.

There was no need for greetings. They all knew what they were feeling, and what was going on; there was no use in cordial exchange to pretend like there was nothing going on around them. Friendship was not enough to combat the sheer feeling of emptiness that fear gave them. There was just no point in it at all.

"Ready?" Catherine asked.

Grissom nodded swiftly and Catherine began the simulation for how they thought the attack went down.

"We positioned the cars the best way we could according to other witnesses," Nick explained.

Grissom watched only the marker for Sara's car. He saw the two semis speeding past the first five cars then positioning themselves to block the road. Sara's car was rolling on the screen steadily until the semis explode. Three cars flip over on top of other cars, including the one that T-boned Sara's car. He watched as Sara's car swerved and flipped over into the median. The whole simulation was pure chaos, like something out of a twisted epic or movie. He could only imagine the reality of the whole situation.

When the simulation was finally over, everyone seemed to breathe out a collective sigh. It was torture watching it because they thought of their coworker Sara and how she had been affected by it.

"Warrick and I will head out to the garage to look for evidence in the two semis," Nick said. "There's bound to be something."

"And I'll check out what kind of explosive was used in the bombings," Catherine said. "I'm willing to bet my ass that it was C-four."

Grissom could only nod.

A cell phone rang, and everyone checked to see if it was theirs or not. It was Catherine and she held up a finger to indicate that.

"Willows," she said rather gruffly. "Yeah…oh my God…" Her face paled and she dropped her phone.

"Catherine?" Nick inquired. "What happened?"

"Lindsay…" Was all she whispered before darting out of the room.


	4. Chapter Four

Fear Itself

Chapter Four

Catherine felt herself being held back from getting to her daughter, as were several other parents trying to get to their trapped children.

The scene was hectic, and Catherine was beyond panicked. There were police cars everywhere, firemen, detectives, and SWAT were out there as well, contemplating their next move. The school bus was cordoned off in the middle of the street with dozens of children inside banging on the windows and screaming for their parents. Catherine could see Lindsay on the bus, crying and screaming.

"MY BABY!" Catherine screamed as she fought against the police officer holding her back. "WHAT'S GOING ON!"

After a few more hectic minutes, a man, dressed in all black, emerged from the bus with a screaming child. He brandished a gun and a remote control.

Catherine was still focused on Lindsay, who was still crying.

"I'VE GOT A BOMB!" The man shouted. "IT'S ON THE KID AND THE BUS!"

"PUT YOUR WEAPON DOWN!" Officers shouted.

"ONE SHOT AND THE KID IS DEAD!" The man responded.

Catherine's heart was beating so fast, she thought it would explode. She prayed that her child along with other people's children would come out of this situation alive.

Nick, Warrick, and Grissom came up to her.

"What's happening?" Warrick asked as he cupped her cheeks to make her face him. "Catherine, what's happening?"

Catherine was too shaken up to say anything that was coherent to Warrick.

All of a sudden, shots rang out, and there were a few seconds of shouting before two large explosions knocked the wind out of the crowd, forcing Catherine, Warrick, Nick, Grissom and anyone else in the front row of the crowd to the ground.

The two fireballs seemed to grow larger, and finally, they used up all of the oxygen and just lowered themselves to the ground and burned.

Everyone was too shell shocked to speak, and Catherine sat up, rather dizzy from hitting her head, and she stared out at the scene and slowly came to consciousness.

"No," she whimpered as the tears started to fall. "NO! NO!"

She stood up and began running out to the fires.

"Catherine!" Warrick yelled as he quickly went after her. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back just as another explosion rang out.

"LET ME GO!" She shouted angrily. "LINDSAY!"

She collapsed in his arms and cried.

"Good afternoon, this is Francis Smith reporting for channel four news," the reporter started gravely. "Tragedy has struck the city of Las Vegas this afternoon. A bus full of children exploded today after a hostage taker held it up. The man in the dark suit, as you can see in the tape had a young boy as a hostage carrying another bomb.

Again, there were two explosions at Northwind Elementary. We will have more on this story in a few minutes."

Catherine was hysterical. Just laid in the grass knoll thirty feet down from the tragic scene. If anybody tried to comfort her, she fought them off violently, shouting profanity and pounding at them so that they would leave her alone.

Catherine heard a faint cry through all of the noise.

"MOMMY!" The familiar voice sounded again.

Catherine sat up from the ground and looked around.

"MOMMY!"

Catherine peered around through the chaos and she saw a bunch of children and teachers running from the back of the school.

Catherine got up.

"LINDSAY!" She shouted as she stumbled from shock.

"MOMMY!"

Lindsay ran and jumped into her mother's arms crying hysterically.

"My baby," Catherine cried. "Oh thank God."

She checked her daughter to see if she was hurt before covering her face and forehead with kisses.

"What happened mommy?" Lindsay asked.

Catherine was too relieved to have her daughter in her arms safe and sound to speak.


	5. Chapter Five

Fear Itself

Chapter Five

Nick kept watch over Lindsay as her mother was being examined in the next room at Desert Palm hospital.

Nick watched as the little girl just sat motionlessly in the chair next to him. Her face was a little dirty from the soot and smoke that was in the air at the scene of the explosion, and her hair was mussed. Her clothes were rumpled and she was very fatigued. Nick picked up the ten year old and sat her on his lap as she began to fall asleep.

He leaned his head back against the wall and let out a heavy sigh. His heart was heavy and his mind was clouded with concerns, confusion, and observations all at the same time, giving him a small headache. The investigation from the other attack wasn't even scratching the surface of being solved, and now, he had to process a charred bus that was full of school kids. All this was happening just a little over a month since the freeway incident.

He held Lindsay tighter in his arms.

Las Vegas had come to a stand still and all that was being broadcast was the tragedy with the children. People were expressing their fears and concerns over the radio, on TV, and almost every place of business a person went to.

Nick wanted it all to be one big nightmare so that he could wake up and be assured that everyone and everything was just as it should be.

Catherine emerged from the examination room with Warrick, whose arm was wrapped protectively around her waist. She was limping a little bit, and her gait was a little off. Her face looked drawn, and the wrinkles that he always knew were there, were more prominent now, making her look older than her thirty six years. Her eyes were downcast, watching her movements.

Nick got up, still holding Lindsay's sleeping form.

"Cath, how are you feeling?" Nick asked.

"I'm okay," she sighed. "How long has she been asleep?"

"Not more than a few minutes," Nick said. "If you want, I'll watch her tonight."

"No," Catherine said, taking Lindsay into her arms; she stumbled back a little bit, and Warrick relieved her by taking Lindsay. "I should take her home."

Nick nodded.

When they arrived home, Warrick put Lindsay to bed then tended to Catherine.

She had slightly dozed and he woke her up, not without a feeling of guilt for she was more exhausted than she'd ever been. The whole day had been rough, and he wished that she could go to sleep, but he had to watch her for twenty-four hours because of her slight concussion.

She winced in pain as he took her shoe off of her swollen and bruised ankle then he took off the other shoe.

He looked into her tired eyes and took her hands and kissed each of them before kissing her abdomen. There were no words to express what he was feeling at that moment, but he hoped that she was getting the message through her lethargy. She caressed his cheek and brought him up to kiss her. Tears rolled down her face at the sheer intensity of the moment and he wiped them away.

"I almost lost her," she wept. "I can't imagine my life without Lindsay."

"Don't think about that," he whispered. "All that matters is that she's safe here at home with us."

"What if it's not enough?" Catherine asked. "It isn't enough just being in my own home. I'm scared; there's no where for anybody to go to feel safe now."

Warrick kissed her again passionately and she leaned into him.

He pulled away and lifted her off of the couch and carried her to the bedroom.

He gently put her down on the bed in a sitting position so that she wouldn't be tempted to go to sleep.

He went into her bathroom and got an ace wrap from under her sink.

He came back and sat on the edge of the bed and gently began to wrap her foot.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Warrick nodded as he continued to wrap her ankle. She had already taken medication for her aching ankle and now all he had to do was keep her awake. All usual stubbornness and determination disappeared from Catherine and leaned her head on the headboard.

"Can't I just rest for a few minutes?" She whined.

"No," Warrick said. "Anything could happen to you in a few minutes."

When he finished wrapping, he kissed her foot and moved slowly up to kiss her on the lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her. His hands caressed the skin of her flat abdomen under her shirt and she moaned at the sensation he caused. She kissed him deeper, and with more passion.

She began to unbutton his shirt deftly as lust overtook her suddenly awake body. He had already unsnapped her bra under her shirt and he caressed the underside of her breasts. She wondered how he did that so quickly with her now flat on her back. Then again, he did a lot of things quickly and efficiently, which was a plus for her now.

Before either of them knew it, they were making love, struggling to keep quiet. Catherine dug her fingernails into his back as he moved within her. Her whole body was burning and the whole room was thick with a heavy humidity of lust and pleasure. She didn't, couldn't think about the events of the last month or so. He made her forget.

She was now whispering and gasping incoherently.

Warrick buried his face in her neck. They were both sweating profusely, adding to their pleasure. She was getting closer to the edge and she only held onto him tighter. She felt him kiss her neck and then kiss her deeply and she whimpered as he supported her leg at a different angle to keep her ankle from digging into his back or the bed so that she wouldn't feel any pain. This too, also gave her more pleasure.

They both let out a quiet moan as he moved deeper inside of her.

She looked deep into his eyes and whispered, "I don't want to lose you."

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise," he whispered back. "I'll always be there for you because I love you."

With that, she gasped and shuddered as her climax took hold.

"I love you too," she panted.

She leaned up and kissed him passionately, letting him swallow the scream that threatened to escape her mouth. His own body stiffened and he stopped his movements as his own intense climax rolled through his body. He tangled his fingers in her damp hair and pulled her yet closer, kissing her like never before.

Another climax crashed through their bodies and Catherine couldn't help but moan loudly. He captured her lips again and kissed her tenderly until their bodies relaxed.

Catherine opened her eyes and she looked into his again. She caressed his cheek and then she wiped the sweat from his forehead.

"You look beautiful," he whispered as he brushed a strand of damp hair that had plastered onto her neck and forehead.

She leaned up and kissed him again, happiness spreading through both of them for the first time in weeks, little knowing that they had effectively conceived their baby during a very dangerous time.

That news would come to the unknowing lovers later. At the moment, all that mattered was that they were together.

Grissom sat in the chair next to Sara's bed. She had just been sedated after another screaming and crying fit, and he could tell from her eyes that she didn't want to be in the hospital. She still had not spoken a word, and the doctors said that she was getting close to permanent involuntary commitment. Her parents were flying out again because that decision should be up to them, he thought. He'd already put her in the hospital, but it was their decision if they wanted her to stay or not.

She just stared blankly at the ceiling, unblinking. Grissom took her hand and she finally blinked and averted her stare onto him. Her eyes were telling him to get her out of whatever hell she was in inside of her mind.

To Sara, it was a blank, airless space. A vacuum of sorts, and she was able to see Grissom, and she willed herself to speak, she was screaming within herself, banging at whatever barrier was keeping her there.

He took her hand and kissed it softly as she began to fall asleep. They had to put her in solitary confinement, which was a room with a single bed, a dresser, and a bathroom. She had restraints on her wrists and ankles so that she would be a danger to herself when she had a screaming fit in the middle of the night.

All Grissom could do at the moment was pray to God that she would come out of herself and tell him what happened.


	6. Chapter Six

Fear Itself

Chapter Six

Much to the citizens of Las Vegas's relief, the school bus that exploded did not contain all of the children. There was only one fatality, and that was the little boy who was taken hostage by the suicide bomber. Due to the bus driver's quick thinking, there was an escape hatch through the floor, and the driver was able to pull the sewer grate out of the way and get the children and himself out of the bus safely.

It spared Nick the agonizing job of having to identify all of the children.

A few weeks had passed and the team, minus Sara still had not made any dents in their investigation. They didn't know who to look for, and an FBI profiler was called in to help narrow down the search for the type of people that would do such things.

Nick didn't know how to feel about the entire thing. Everyone had their ways of coping, but he couldn't find his. Between worrying about Sara, and trying to figure out what kind of deranged people were behind the attacks, he couldn't find any middle ground in his emotions. He didn't know whether to be scared or to be strong or what.

He met Grissom and Catherine in the break room.

"Hey," he said rather dejectedly. "How are you guys?"

"I'm okay," Catherine sighed. "Beside the fact that this case is driving me insane, I'm good."

"Grissom?" Nick asked.

Grissom was staring off into space. It was only when Nick spoke that he snapped out of his reverie.

"Oh, I'm fine I suppose," he said. "I just hate being about fifty miles behind a criminal."

"I hear you," Nick said as he sat down. "Where's Warrick?"

"He's on his way," Grissom said.

"How's Sara doing?" Catherine asked as she got up to fix herself a cup of coffee.

"She's improving," he said. "She's eating a little more, and taking care of herself, but she still hasn't spoken a word. The doctors told me that it may be a while before she ever talks again. He said it may take a little longer to begin communicating again, but as far as talking about what happened and what she saw the day of the attack, he said it may be years before she talks about it."

Catherine sighed and shook her head.

"I'm not trying to sound rude or anything," she started. "But we don't have that much time to wait on her. She's the only person who survived the front line of that attack."

"I tried to get her to talk, but she just turns away," Grissom said.

Catherine stirred her coffee vigorously trying to figure out their next move. As she did so, she felt suddenly dizzy and a painful cramp seized her midsection. She dropped her coffee and took in a sharp intake of breath.

"God," she gasped. "Ow."

Nick immediately came to her aid as she warily sat down into a chair, her face showing confusion at her sudden pain. Grissom had gotten up and gotten her a cup of water.

"Catherine, are you okay?" Nick asked.

"Yeah," she panted, trying to get over the pain.

Just then, Warrick walked in and saw Nick and Grissom huddled around her.

"Cath, what's wrong?" He asked as he kneeled in front of her.

"Just give me some space," she panted.

With that, all of the men gave her room to relax and take deep breaths. After a few more seconds, she was fine, and she shook her head.

"I don't know what all that was about," she said as she stood up slowly. She went over to the sink and grabbed some paper towels to clean up her spilled coffee.

"No, Catherine, I'll get that for you," Nick said, taking the towels from her. "Just sit and rest for a little bit."

Catherine sat back down, very perplexed about her episode.

"Maybe its stress," she theorized.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Warrick asked.

"Yes, I'm fine," Catherine insisted. "Please, don't fuss over me. It was probably just a cramp from not drinking enough water."

Warrick nodded.

Grissom didn't look quite so convinced though, and he gave a her his Grissom look, which she reflected.

"Don't worry about me," she said. "We've got suicidal and homicidal maniacs running around Vegas and you're concerned about me having an itty bitty cramp."

Grissom raised his eyebrow before helping Nick with the coffee.

Warrick still looked a little worried. Catherine gave him an insistent and pensive look that made him stop worrying for the moment.

"Come with me to go get some water?" Catherine asked as she stood up rather unevenly on her feet. Warrick had to support her a little bit.

"I'll go get it for you," he offered. "Your gait is a little off."

"It's my ankle," she said. "I swear if all of you don't stop poring over me like old ladies, I'll scream."

Catherine led the way out. Warrick was on her heels, a little peeved at her attitude.

"You know Cath, we're just trying to help," Warrick said as they went around to the vending machines.

"Warrick," she started, holding her hand out for some change. "There is a difference between looking out for someone and driving them insane."

Warrick took out a dollar and handed it to Catherine. She took it from him gratefully and she put it in the machine. When it took the dollar, she pressed the button for water. She had forty cents in change. Feeling suddenly hungry, she went over to the snack machines and bought a bag of trail mix.

"You hungry?" Warrick asked.

"Yeah, I haven't eaten lunch yet," Catherine said as she opened up the water and took a long swig. "This should tide me over."

As they made their way back over to the break room, Catherine nearly collapsed and Warrick caught her as she began to fall. She spilled the water and dropped the bag of trail mix. She used his broad shoulders to hold herself up.

"I don't know why I feel…" she fell against his shoulder, trying to support her weight.

She closed her eyes for a second to make the room stop spinning as she leaned against him. The cramping pain came again, and she gasped in pain.

"Ow," she sighed as she felt herself being ushered over to a bench. She put a hand over her abdomen and started breathing to make the pain go away.

"I'm taking you to the hospital," Warrick said.

"No," she said. "I'll be fine. I'm sure I just haven't been taking good care of myself."

The cramp subsided and she leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes.

"I've made a mess again," she said.

"Don't worry about that," Warrick said. "Are you absolutely sure that you're okay? If not we can go to the hospital."

"I'm okay," she insisted. "I feel better already."

Warrick cast her a doubtful look.

"I promise you the next time this happens I'll let you take me to the hospital," she said.

"Do I have your word on that, or are you just trying to get me off your case?" He asked with a smirk.

Catherine looked up at the ceiling in thought then looked into his eyes again.

"Both," she quipped. The urge to kiss him was strong, but she resisted because she wanted their relationship to stay a secret and on top of that they were at work.

He smiled and helped her up.

Catherine and Nick were sent out with Brass to follow a lead they got from the profiler. The man lived out near the I-15.

He lived in a trailer park, the area was dusty and dirty looking.

"Hmm," Catherine said. "This should be interesting."

"Are you going to be okay?" Nick asked. "It's kind of hot out here-"

"Nick, leave me alone," Catherine said.

They approached the front porch of Tyler Bedhatch, an ex-SWAT operative and ex-con.

"I hate bad cops," Brass muttered under his breath as he rang the door bell.

"YEAH!" A deep voice shouted from inside.

"Las Vegas Police," Brass said back. "We're hear to ask you a few questions."

Catherine and Nick stood by, kits in hand, ready to go inside and look for any evidence of explosives, fire arms and the sort.

A tall, broad man with a thick mustache came up to the screen door.

"Who are you? And who are they?" He asked.

"I'm Detective Jim Brass with the LVPD and these guys are from the crime lab," Brass explained cordially. "Mind if we have a look around your…_humble_ abode?"

Tyler looked between them for a second before opening his door.

"Sure," he said.

Nick walked in tentatively before Catherine did. She examined the cluttered home. There were stacks of newspapers that were knee high, clothes were piled on the couch, the TV was dusty, and the carpet was grainy with something or another. Seeing Tyler walking barefooted on the carpet made the color drain from her face. She willed her color back as they walked though the small trailer.

"Mr. Bedhatch," Nick said as he put down his kit. "Do you own any weapons?"

"No sir, I don't," he said as he crossed his arms over his muscled chest.

Catherine looked on his desk. There was an old fashioned typewriter and a small stack of an interesting newspaper.

She picked up a small gazette newsletter.

UTOPIA AMERICA CORPS GAZETTE. She couldn't bag it because it wasn't in the warrant. She made sure to look up the name later on in the shift. She put the gazette down and began to look through the book shelves.

Nick went back over to Brass.

"There's nothing here," Nick said. "He doesn't have a garage or any other storage place here."

Brass nodded.

"Thank you for your time," Brass said.

Catherine didn't notice all of the conversation as she stared at the pictures on the mantles.

"You have a daughter?" She asked, turning to him.

"Yeah," he said.

Catherine smiled faintly and then followed Nick and Brass outside.

"What do you think?" Brass asked.

"I kind of like him for it," Nick said. "Ex-SWAT, ex-con. He would know how to use explosives and weapons."

"I don't think he would have the balls to be associated with a group whose intention is to kill innocent children on a school bus," Catherine piped in. "He has a daughter. I don't think murdering kids is his style."

Nick noticed that Catherine was kind of spacey as she walked back to their vehicle. He knew how she was with kids, and she always hoped that parents were just as loving as she. She didn't want to believe that mothers and fathers were capable of harming their own precious children. As the cases involving children come, each one more senseless and violent than the last, her notions were contradicted.

Once again, Catherine gasped and clutched her abdomen.

"Damn," she growled. "I wish this would stop happening."

"What's the matter?" Brass asked.

"She's been having these weird cramps all through the shift," Nick said as he helped her get to the car. "Cath, do you want to go to the hospital?"

"No," she said. "It'll pass."

She stood in the same spot for a few seconds more before the pain went away. She straightened up again and then she made her way to the back to put her kit away. She could feel Nick and Brass's stare on her.

"I'm okay," she said even though she was a little shaken at not really knowing what was causing her cramps. She wasn't PMSing…it wasn't time.

She shook the thoughts from her head and got into the vehicle.

Nick was still worried about her, but he said nothing as he started the engine.

Catherine immediately went to Archie to look up some information on the internet.

"Are you okay Catherine?" He asked. "You look a little tired."

"Gee thanks Arch," Catherine said as she rolled her eyes. "You look sexy too."

He laughed as he searched for Utopia America Corps. Catherine took a seat next to him and waited on any hits. He scrolled through many names quickly and Catherine spotted what she was looking for.

"Stop," she said. "Go back up. Click on that link."

Archie did as he was told.

"Print out every last piece of information this site has and page me when you're done," she said before walking out.

Catherine hoped that she wouldn't run into Warrick any time soon because she knew that he would be upset about her not going to the hospital over her cramps. That is, if Nick told him about her episode, which she figured he did already.

Grissom had gone to visit Sara again so she didn't have to worry about seeing him for a while.

Unfortunately, she did run into Warrick, and he ushered her outside to the courtyard.

Warrick was a little perturbed, she could tell, but he wasn't angry.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm sorry okay? I don't want you to worry about me."

"How can you say that?" Warrick asked. "I'm worried about you because I'm in love with you and I don't want you to get hurt or be in pain. You can't stand there and tell me that you're not in pain when you get those cramps."

"They are painful," she admitted. "But they go away in seconds. I understand that you love me, and I love you too, so much," she said. "But you can't protect me all of the time. If you spend all of your time worrying about me and-"

"Sweetie, you know full well what I mean," he said firmly.

She scowled at him.

"And don't make that face either," he said. "It's not going to work."

She scowled even deeper and crossed her arms stubbornly over her chest.

"Cathy, I just want to know if you're okay," he said. "You've never gotten cramps like these before."

"I'm okay Warrick," she insisted. "I know how to handle myself."

Warrick knew that he wasn't going to convince her otherwise so he resolved to pulling her into a hug.

Sara was sitting on the grass, fingering the flower that Grissom gave to her. She received it happily and she smelled it, then she began to play with it. She was in a pair of loose slacks and a tank top. Her hair had grown longer over the past month or so.

She wasn't as listless as she used to be, but she still had no desire to move around a whole lot. She still had a difficult time with staring-she would still become transfixed on an object and stare at it for hours, and it was very unsettling for some of the other patients. She was more responsive than ever to touches, sounds, and voices and she got herself up in the morning to shower and get dressed and do her hair. She was slowly liberating herself.

"I'll bring the rest of the team next time," Grissom started. "You look radiant. The doctors said you're doing better."

Sara did not face him, and he wasn't disappointed because he knew that she had a long way to go.

"Sara, I know that you're hurting from the attack," he coaxed. "But is there any chance that you want to write out what happened, or say one word to describe it?"

Sara did not move or say anything. She just continued to play with the flower that Grissom gave her.

She was still in that far away place; she was trapped in the cob webs of her mind and she sorted through it day and night, trying to make sense of what it was she was trying to accomplish. She was getting closer and closer to the memories of the attack, but it still seemed so far away.

She was aware that Grissom was with her. That was a start.


	7. Chapter Seven

Fear Itself

Chapter Seven

Catherine was trying to get over another one of her cramps as she was washing dishes from dinner. She quickly put the plates in the sink before she dropped them when the cramp hit.

"Mom, what's wrong?" Lindsay asked.

"Nothing baby," she said. "Um, just go on to bed sweetheart. Mommy's going to be fine."

The ten year old stood in the door way for a second more before turning around and going to her room and closing the door. The girl didn't understand all that was going on. She hadn't been to school in two weeks. She was afraid of getting on the bus. Catherine didn't know how to comfort her child and tell her not to fear because Catherine didn't even know how to comfort herself. Being with Warrick was wonderful, but it wasn't enough anymore. She didn't know how she felt anymore.

Catherine began to cry as she went over to the breakfast nook and sat down. She wasn't even sure if she truly loved Warrick. She'd been fighting over her emotions for him for years, and now that they'd been together a few times, she was thoroughly confused as to whether what she was feeling was real or just residual from the anxiety she was feeling from the attacks.

She hugged herself to keep herself warm from the cold, expectant feeling that crept up her spine. She jumped when the phone rang and she exhaled heavily as she got up to answer it.

"Willows residence," she answered.

"Hey Cath it's Nick."

"Oh," she sniffled. "Hey Nick. What's up?"

"Catherine, have you been crying?" He asked. "Are you okay? Maybe I should call another-"

"No," she said quickly. "I'm okay, really. It's just…just allergies that's all."

"Oh," he said, not sounding very convinced. "Well anyway, Archie said he's got your information on that gazette you were looking at. He said that he paged you but you never came back by."

"Oh," she sighed. "Yeah, um, can you pick that up for me and just put it in my box, and I'll come by and get it later."

"Okay," he said. "I can bring it by for you if-"

"No, that's okay really," she insisted. "I'll pick it up next shift. It may not be anything at all. It's not that important."

"Okay," he said. "It'll be in your box. See you later."

"Bye Nick," she said before hanging up.

She put the phone on the base to recharge and then she headed to the shower. She turned the water on hot and then she shed her clothes. She stepped in the spray and let it wash over her body. She relaxed her muscles and pushed her hair out of her face. She grabbed the soap and washed her body of all of the day's and part of the night's impurities. For a moment she imagined Warrick's touch instead of her own. She closed her eyes and grinned a bit.

She felt so vulnerable that it scared her. A man had never made her feel the way she did. The thought of Warrick not being around frightened her even more, and she began to cry again. She turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. She put on a robe and went to her bedroom. She sat on the bed weeping, and she hugged a pillow close to her.

Life was rapidly unraveling before her eyes and she felt powerless to stop it.

Nick found Catherine's box in the main office and slipped the papers into it. She had quite a bit of memos in her box and he decided to check his own.

There was nothing in it except a few notices about changed in policy and vacation notices and whatnot.

He tossed the notices and then headed to the break room. He found Warrick there, looking over some paper work.

"Hey," he said. "I thought you went home."

"Nothing to go home to," Warrick chuckled. "I've got a few hours left."

"Me too," Nick said. "I think I'm gonna stop by Catherine's later to see if she's alright. I called her earlier about some information she wanted and she sounded like she'd been crying. She's been acting very strange lately."

"Yeah," Warrick agreed. "I wish she'd go to the hospital about those cramps."

"You know Catherine," Nick said. "She's stubborn."

Warrick nodded. He found it amazingly easy to hide his relationship with Catherine. Maybe it was due to the fact that they hadn't seen each other outside of work for a couple of weeks. He could tell that she was really starting to rethink what they had started because he was thinking about it. Catherine was so wrapped up in finding out who was trying to hurt her daughter and other people's children that they barely spoke even at work. That didn't mean that he loved her any less…that is if it was love that he was feeling.

Warrick pushed those thoughts from his head.

Nick was sure that both of his friends were troubled as well as he. He knew for a fact that Catherine was crying; what about he didn't know, but the idea of trying to be brave and to go on with life as usual was impossible.

Sara's vulnerability caused her to withdraw into herself. How could one face reality after witnessing such a horrendous act of mass murder? Nick was almost losing it himself, and he was trying to stay strong not only for himself, but for his friends.

Grissom came in looking rather depressed, and it didn't help to liven the mood. A strange calm rested over the city and Grissom hadn't seen Las Vegas in calm in years.

The worst feeling thought was the feeling that justice may not be served in the case. It was hard to investigate attacks. They were calculated, hard to process, and suspects are hard to come by because many people were involved in those kinds of attacks. Grissom didn't know how to tell the team that their efforts in the investigation was over; it was definitely disheartening, and he was glad that Catherine had already gone home so that he was spared her anger.

But still, ending their investigation wasn't the hardest thing; healing was.


	8. Chapter Eight

Fear Itself

Chapter Eight

Sara walked around the residential grounds by herself, still thinking, still staring straight ahead, convinced that she was going somewhere, but she really wasn't, and she wasn't aware of that fact.

Suddenly, she just sat down on the ground and stayed there unmoving. Something horrible was about to happen, and she just sat…waiting for it to come and take her away. There was no use in running from it.

"Sara," the nurse said. "What are you doing out here by yourself?"

Sara did not answer.

"I'm not going to pick you up like I did the other day," the nurse said sweetly, coming around to face her. "I don't want to have to go get Bertha because I hope we don't have to go through this today."

As if to rebel more, Sara got off of her knees and sat on her butt. She wasn't rebelling; she knew something was going to happen and she was just going to sit it out.

Catherine laid back on the examination table and pulled up her shirt.

"Okay," the doctor said. "I want you to let me know if you feel any pain."

Catherine nodded.

She had another cramp at home, and it was worse than the others from the week before. She decided to go in to see the doctor. Lindsay was waiting outside in the playroom.

The doctor felt around her belly and pressed in the skin here and there and Catherine felt no pain from those sensations.

"No pain whatsoever?" Dr. West inquired as she pressed a little more. "Could you describe the pain again?"

"Well, it's kind of a sharp kind of pain, but its deep in the lower part of my stomach," Catherine said as she pulled her shirt back down.

"Where in the lower part?" The doctor asked.

"Just all the way across," Catherine said.

"Have you had your cycle?"

"Um, no," Catherine said. "It's actually due this week."

"Could it be possible that you're having regular old cramps?"

"No because these cramps just come out of nowhere and then they're gone in a couple of seconds," Catherine said.

Dr. West nodded.

"I think we need to run a few tests, get an ultrasound done, and see what's going on," she said. "I'll need you to put on a gown and I'll go get your daughter."

Catherine was afraid of what was going on with her body.

A few hours went by and the doctor ran all of the tests except for the ultrasound. They put a rush on all of her specimens and she was sitting idly on the examination table in the flimsy piece of fabric the hospital liked to call a gown.

The curtain was being pulled back and Dr. West came in.

"Well Catherine," she started. "I got your test results and everything looked pretty much normal."

Catherine breathed a sigh of relief.

"But, those cramps that you've been complaining of," the doctor started again. "Those weren't cramps."

"What were they?" Catherine asked.

"Braxton Hicks," Dr. West said.

Catherine was thoroughly confused. "Wh-what is that?"

"You've been having slight contractions, not cramps," Dr. West said. "And you've been having them because you're six weeks pregnant."

Catherine was shocked.

"I'm pregnant?" She asked.

"Yes, congratulations," Dr. West said with a smile.

"Thank you," Catherine said, still in shock. "What do I do about the cramps-I mean the contractions, whatever?"

"Well, Braxton Hicks are preparatory contractions," Dr. West said. "You're the second patient that I've had in almost a decade that's experienced them this early in her pregnancy. It's very rare, but for women your age, it's not impossible. I have some medication for you to take during your entire pregnancy to stop the contractions. If you hadn't come to the hospital, they probably would have gotten worse and you would have lost the baby."

Catherine didn't know how she was supposed to feel about the baby. She wanted to be happy, but then she thought about telling Warrick, and how it might not go so well. She hadn't seen him after hours for close to three weeks, and she knew that he was probably hurting from that. Now, what was she supposed to do? Show up on his door step and tell him she's pregnant with his baby after not seeing him for a while? What was he going to think?

"Catherine," Dr. West broke into her thoughts. "I know that times have gotten a little scary over the last month or so, but please don't put yourself under anymore stress than necessary. At about your fifth month, I might list you as high risk, depending on how well you respond to the medication. You need to rest, and I even advise that you take a few weeks off from work to relax."

"I can't do that," Catherine said. She felt about a million miles away from her body. "I'm in the middle of an investigation and I have a ten year old to raise…I just can't-"

Catherine began to cry.

"See, that's what I'm talking about," Dr. West said sympathetically.

"But, I didn't mean for this to happen," Catherine sniffled. "I've trapped him and I know that he's going to be angry with me."

"Who?" Dr. West inquired.

"The father of my baby," Catherine said. "He's so loving, and caring, but I don't know if what we have is real and now we have this baby…I don't know what to do."

Catherine went out to the waiting room and found Lindsay reading a book.

"Hey sweetie," a teary eyed Catherine said. "We're ready to go."

"What'd they say mommy?" Lindsay asked as they walked out to the parking lot.

Catherine didn't know how to tell her daughter that she was going to be a big sister soon.

"Well, mommy's fine," Catherine said. "But I'll have to explain everything to you later. Are you hungry? I am."

"I guess," Lindsay said.

"You guess?" Catherine giggled. "Either you are or you aren't kid."

"Okay, I am," Lindsay laughed.

The thought of a baby made Catherine's heart warm. Maybe she, Warrick and Lindsay could be a family. She shook those thoughts from her head. She just knew that Warrick would not appreciate the fact that she'd been avoiding him over the last few weeks and then all of a sudden, she drops a baby on him. She didn't doubt that he would be responsible, it was just that she didn't know if he felt the same way about her as she did him.

I'll just wait until this whole investigation blows over to tell him, she thought. _I have a feeling that we're getting close to cracking this case, and I won't be showing anytime soon…I just have to stop acting like I'm pregnant. That means no indulging in weird cravings like right now; tortilla chips doused in chocolate sauce sounds really good._

The traffic was moving kind of slowly.

I should just go ahead and call Warrick and tell him, she thought. _That way it's not eating away at my heart and so that I can go get those tortilla chips. Never have I been more hungry in my life!_

"Mommy, can we get hamburgers?" Lindsay asked.

"Sure baby," Catherine said.

Yuck! Hamburgers? I can't even look at one right now, she thought. _No, stop acting like you're pregnant. I should just go ahead and tell Lindsay and call Warrick._

Catherine parallel parked at a boulevard of shops. Lindsay was looking at her strangely. Catherine took a deep breath before starting.

"Sweetheart," she started. "I know that you've had a rough couple of weeks and I am going to do everything to make you feel better and be happier," Catherine paused, trying to find the right words. "And I hope that one of the things to make you happy is being a big sister."

Lindsay just looked at her at first, looking rather confused.

"Honey, mommy's having a baby," Catherine said with a beaming smile.

"Why?" Lindsay asked innocently.

"Well, because…" she trailed off because she herself didn't know why. "How about I explain everything to you when you're older?"

"No mom," Lindsay said. "I'm tired of waiting until I'm older. I'll probably be old and crinkly by the time you tell me about all the stuff I don't know about."

Catherine sighed.

"Well, it's not really something I want to explain because," Catherine swallowed before finishing. "I don't know the reason myself."

"Who's going to be my new dad now?" Lindsay asked, not very pleased.

Catherine began to cry. "Baby, your daddy will always be your daddy," she explained as she smoothed the girl's hair down. "No one could ever replace your father. I know this is hard to digest, but I hope that you'll get used to the idea of a new life and a new man in your life. He's a great guy, I guarantee it."

Lindsay looked down at her mother's hand and took it in her own.

"Don't cry mommy," she said. "I promise to love the baby."

Catherine smiled through her tears and hugged her daughter.

Sara had been picked up by Bertha and had been made to stand up and walk. Sara fought Bertha with all of her might.

Just then, she felt herself being thrown to the gravel and she witnessed Bertha being pushed away. Sara couldn't scream, she just tried to will herself to run as fast as she could, but the unseen assailant had grabbed her with his big bulky hands and pulled her back to him with such force, that it hurt when her back came in contact with the kidnapper's broad, well muscled chest.

She couldn't see his face, and she could hear his voice. She was terrified and she blacked out.

Catherine took out her cell phone and dialed Warrick's number.

"Brown," he answered in that deep voice Catherine always loved.

"Hey it's me," she said, trying not to sound too emotional.

"Hey," he said. "How have you been? Have you had anymore of those cramps?"

"Yeah," she admitted. "About that, I went to the doctor today and…"

Catherine was about to tell him something, and just then, Warrick heard a loud roaring noise, glass breaking, Catherine and Lindsay's screams, and a struggle.

"Catherine!" He shouted over the phone. "Catherine!"

"NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Catherine's scream came through the phone. "NO!"

"Catherine!" Warrick yelled again. "Where are you? Catherine?"

"If you come after her, both she and the kid will die unless you stay back and follow our orders," a deep, raspy voice threatened from the other line.

"Who is this?" Warrick asked.

The line went dead.


	9. Chapter Nine

Fear Itself

Chapter Nine

Catherine sat bolt upright in her bed and gasped. Her heart was thumping about as fast as a rabbit's, and she was in a cold sweat. Instinctually, she put a hand to her belly as she panted her fears away. She glanced over at the clock: the hour was early because she saw the velvet blue haze and mauve of morning outside her window. She lowered herself back into her pillows and rested her racing mind.

The nightmare she had was so vivid and so seemingly real. Now that she was awake, she, for some reason, had confidence that her daughter was safe and sound in her bedroom sleeping without even having to get up and take a peek.

As reality settled in, Catherine remembered that just the day before she had been told that she was pregnant. While it was good news, it was shocking. She knew that she only had herself to blame for the sudden development. Her emotions had been so heightened that she didn't even think about protection for her sake. But then again, it was Warrick. It seemed almost degrading using that kind of logic because what they had was special.

Now, there was a baby growing inside of her, a product of possible love, fear, and insecurity. Warrick was still unaware of the baby. In her dream, she was about to tell him and she remembered feeling so nervous and gutless for beating around the bush about it.

Catherine sighed and rubbed her flat tummy.

Why did she have to be pregnant during this time? During a period in which people were willing to kill anyone for a cause that wasn't even other's causes? It was terribly unfair to the child, she acknowledged.

What are we going to do? She thought to herself. _First, I have to tell him, then the rest of the team. After that, I'm really not sure. I'm not fully prepared to handle a baby right now! But then again, I do have a knack for bad timing. No matter what though, this baby is a blessing and I'm thankful. But man, what are we going to do?_

Catherine shook her head and closed her eyes. She felt tears falling down her cheeks and she sniffled. She giggled heartily at her weepiness. She had not felt so hormonally charged in a long time. Memories of her being pregnant with Lindsay flooded her mind and she smiled.

Her stomach lurched with a light wave of nausea, making her put off breakfast. Morning sickness had come. She felt the color drain from her face and she closed her eyes to the spinning room. When the episode stopped, she sighed and then got up out of bed. She wondered if Lindsay would be happy to be a big sister.

She walked into Lindsay's room and watched her sleep. She smiled at her ten year old. They had been through so much together and Lindsay was still strong as ever.

Now feeling hungry, Catherine headed to the kitchen to make some breakfast. She put her hand on her tummy again and she felt a sense of completion wash over her.

She was jolted out of her dreamy state by the shrill ringing of the phone.

"Hello?" She answered.

"Catherine," Grissom started. "I need you to come in, Sara's been abducted."


	10. Chapter Ten

Fear Itself

Chapter Ten

Catherine was fighting off the bit of nausea from the mild morning sickness as she drove to work. She had to drop Lindsay off at her grandmother's before quickly leaving.

Her heart palpitated with anxiety. She couldn't think about the baby at the moment. Not while Sara was out there somewhere, in her mental state, unable to think or care for herself. Catherine began to weep as she pulled into the crime lab.

When would all of the pain and violence stop? Her life was complicated enough as it was, and now, Sara, her friend and coworker was stuck with only God knew who.

She wiped her tears and took deep breaths before heading inside.

She saw Warrick heading toward her and she hugged him.

"Hey," he said solemnly. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she said, trying to fight off her tears. "You?"

"I'm good," he said. "I know you're upset about Sara's abduction. We're going to find her."

Catherine hugged him again. She wanted so desperately to tell him that he was going to be a father, but she had to think about Sara, and he needed his mind to stay focuses as well. She had taken her medicine to stop the pains. As long as she stayed calm and focused, she and the baby would be fine. The news could wait just a little bit longer.

"Come on," Warrick said softly. "Let's go see what's going on."

Nick, Greg, and Grissom were already in his office, just as anxious.

"Okay, now that everyone's here, we can quickly get started," Grissom said. "As of two hours ago, Sara was taken from Desert Palm. The nurses said that two men that worked at the psych ward there received phony papers for transport to a sister hospital out just outside of Reno. Santa Teresa hospital's transport vehicle went missing with Sara in it."

"Did the vehicle make it to Reno?" Catherine immediately asked.

"No, the two guys from Desert Palm who were driving were lured over to the side of the road and shot and two different men climbed in," he explained further. "We're working with day shift and the FBI to find Sara. She's deteriorated over the weeks, so she won't be able to get herself out of this mess."

The place she was in was damp, dim, and cold. The only form of warmth offered was the pitiful ray of sunlight coming through the crack of wherever she was.

Two men were hovering over her, but she was so far gone, she couldn't make out their faces. They were whispering about something or another, and they laid her down on a small, dirty mattress.

"She knows way too much," one deep voiced man said. "She's the only one who saw who caused the freeway explosions, and she works with one of them. We should go ahead and kill her now, make an example of her."

"No!" A second man hissed. "Are you out of your mind! To kill was not our original plan! This was about the families, right?"

"Well, some of the other cadets are questioning whether they were going to get paid," the first man shot back.

"As I recall, I out rank you sergeant," the second man said. "Stand down."

The deep voiced man, nodded and back up from his commanding officer.

"She's not a liability anymore," the CO stated surprisingly sympathetically. "She's way too far gone to talk. Poor beautiful creature."

In some far-reaching place in Sara's mind, she had filed away the men's conversation, the way they looked and how they were involved. At present though, she only saw what she wanted to see and heard what she wanted to hear.

The two conspiring men left her and she hardly noticed. Her eyes closed and she shivered uncontrollably.

Grissom felt his heart thumping away with fear for Sara.

He knew how abduction cases with very little leads usually went. The likelihood of the captors killing Sara was very high, considering how crazy people have gotten. He prayed that she was in tune enough to try and escape. Her condition had gotten worse, and she was back to just staring. She was non responsive to light, touches, and voices.

Of course, that didn't mean she didn't hear them. He always knew that she could hear what people were saying, even though her eyes betrayed the latter, he was convinced that she heard every word of conversation. He knew that she could see from some place in the back of her mind. Her soul was trapped in some kind of purgatory, making her float in between her latter world, and the present.

"Grissom," Nick's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"Catherine and I are going over to Desert Palm to interview the driver that was shot," Nick said.

"Okay," he agreed. "Warrick and I will head over to the scene where he was shot."

Nick nodded, knowing that his supervisor was scared for Sara. So was he, and he wanted to find her as soon as possible.

He still hadn't found any peace whatsoever through all of the chaos. It seemed as if one thing after another kept happening, and he had no time to just sit down, and think about his life as he knew it.

He sighed and went in search of Catherine. She had bolted straight out of Grissom's office, mumbling about having to go to the restroom real quick. He figured that she should be out by now, but when he knocked on the door, he heard her voice call "I'll be out in a second!". He stood outside the door, and he heard the unmistakable sound of her vomiting. He chalked it all up to stress.

Meanwhile, Catherine threw up everything she had consumed up to this point. Last night for dinner, she and Lindsay had decided on pizza, and Catherine devoured several pieces, much to Lindsay's disgust, in hunger.

Now, the baby was making her pay for it, and she retched again.

When she was finished, for the moment, she wiped her mouth with toilet paper, and flushed the toilet.

"I'm never eating pizza again," she vowed as she rubbed her belly.

Catherine splashed water over her pale face then she washed her mouth out. She grimaced at her appearance, but now was not the time to be vain. She ran her fingers through her hair, reapplied a little blush, and headed out.

"Sorry Nicky," she said. "I had some bad food last night."

"Oh, what did you have?" Nick asked.

"Pizza," she said as they headed out to the parking lot.

Nick looked at her strangely for a second.

"Well no wonder you're throwing your guts up," Nick said in his drawl. "You hate pizza."

Catherine felt like kicking herself. Now Nick would be asking questions all day. She should have said bad Chinese. That pretty much covers all sudden stomach strains. It was a known fact that Catherine did not like pizza. It had way too much grease, and the combination was just disgusting to her palette. Until last night, however. She had a taste for pizza, and it was good, but just not when it was coming up the other way. She assumed the baby didn't appreciate the extra spicy pepperoni.

"Cath?" Nick asked, bringing her out of her trance. "Are you sure you're okay to handle this case?"

"Yeah, why?" She asked as they made it to the Tahoe.

"Well, just a two weeks ago you're having weird cramps, and now you're throwing up," Nick started. "Maybe you need to rest."

"Nick, I'm fine, okay?" She insisted. "Just don't fuss over me. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself."

"If that's true, then how did you end up feeding yourself pizza last night?" Nick quipped.

Catherine groaned.

"Nick," she whined. "Please don't make me think about how I actually _ate_ it. I'm going to get sick all over again."

Warrick just knew that Catherine was pregnant. There was nothing overtly obvious to him about it until she made a run for the restroom, pale as a ghost. But it was subtle things: how she avoided him at work, the way she paled at the sight of a doughnut, her moodiness. Of course, it could have been stress too, but when she started having the cramps and dizziness, he knew. He didn't know what cramps had to do with pregnancy, but the dizziness put it in concrete. Catherine was only God knew how many weeks pregnant, and she was running around after the maniacs who abducted Sara.

His first thought was to call her and suggest, well, force rather, that she go home and rest. Then he realized that she may or may not be aware that she was pregnant. He was pretty sure that by now, she would have probably been suspecting, but not really sure. Either way, she thinks that he doesn't know, and by him telling her that she needs to think about the baby would only serve to upset her, and she was already emotional enough as it was.

"Warrick," Grissom's harsh tone shook him from his thoughts. "I need you to focus."

"Yes sir," Warrick said respectfully. "I'm sorry. I was just thinking."

"What about?" Grissom asked.

"Just everything," he answered. "I can handle it later."

They walked carefully around the scene. Warrick photographed the pools of blood from each of the two men from transport. It was then that he noticed something. A small slip of paper, and a bracelet.

"Hey Gris!" He called as he kneeled down to pick up the two items.

"What is it?" Grissom asked.

"I think it's a folded page and a bracelet of some sort," Warrick said as he unfolded the paper. "UTOPIA AMERICA CORPS. CADET DIVISION, NEVADA."

"Catherine said she saw the same thing at a suspect's house," Grissom said. "They're based somewhere here, and wherever they are, Sara will be."

They both looked at the bracelet.

"It's an allergy bracelet," Warrick said. "Instead of dog tags around the neck, they can be made into a bracelet. It looks like it was yanked off."

Grissom grinned.

"Good girl, Sara."


	11. Chapter Eleven

Fear Itself

Chapter Eleven

Catherine tried not to think about the strong smell of alcohol as she and Nick waited for the nurse to finish giving the injured transport driver some pain medication. He was a still fairly young African-American man; in his mid thirties. He was an honest and hardworking man, and the new focus in his life was his unborn child, due in three more months. He thanked God that he was still alive after his run in with some rather unsavory characters.

When the nurse was finished, she took all of her IV supplies and exited the room. The smell was making her feel sick all over again, and her stomach flipped within her.

Catherine closed her eyes to the slightly spinning room. The baby was already a hand full and it wasn't even born yet.

"Hey Cath," Nick whispered. "I thought you were the one that was going to ask questions?"

"Uh, Nick, can you take this up for me?" She asked. "I need to go to the restroom."

Nick inquired if she was okay, but she said nothing as she excused herself from the hospital room.

He prayed that his partner, Rick Garza would come out okay.

Robert James Dent lay in his bed, slightly confused at what was wrong with the strawberry blond haired woman, although he did have an inkling as to what the problem may be. His wife of almost ten years was expecting their first child, and she had morning sickness.

Of course, the woman could just have a strain of the stomach flu, but at this time of the year, it was unlikely.

"Mr. Dent, " Nick started. "Can you tell us anything about the men who assaulted you?"

"Yes I can," Robert started slowly. "There were two guys: one was about six feet, the other about five eight. The tall man had bushy black hair, and the shorter guy had reddish brown hair. They were both wearing all black, and they pretended like their car was broken down."

Nick nodded at the information.

"Can you describe the car?" Nick ventured further, thankful that this witness, though injured, was reliable.

"No," Robert said despairingly. "I was already on the ground trying to help myself and my partner. How is Rick by the way?"

"Well we-" Nick was interrupted by the procession of a doctor and a woman, well progressed in pregnancy.

"Oh God Robert," the man's companion cried. "I'm so glad you're okay."

Nick presumed the woman to be Robert's wife. She was a beautiful woman with silky light brown skin, long thick brown hair, and sparkling eyes.

"Hey baby," he said as he embraced her carefully. "I'm okay, everything's going to be just fine. How's Ricky and Meg?"

It was then that the doctor broke in.

"Um, hi, I'm Dr. Gooding," he introduced himself. "I'm very sorry to have to tell you this, but Ricky died on the operating table about five minutes ago."

Nick ran a hand over his face and exited the room.

"Damn," he growled to himself.

He heard both Robert and his wife crying in the room as he headed down the hallway. Catherine emerged from the ladies' restroom looking paler than she was before.

"Nick, what are you doing?" She asked. "I thought that you were interviewing the driver? What happened?"

"The driver's partner just died in the OR five minutes ago," Nick explained.

Catherine shook her head slowly and then looked down at her feet.

"We need to catch those bastards," she growled.

VVV

"Ms. Jackie Franco," Warrick called. "Got some good news for me?"

"That I have," she said with a proud smile.

She rolled her swivel chair to the printer and handed him the results.

"Christopher Simmons," Warrick read off. "Wanted in several states on various misdemeanor charges. Now this petty thief has gone homicidal. Thanks Jackie."

"Hey Warrick," she called after him.

"Yeah?" he said, obviously in a rush.

"When are we ever going to have that breakfast?" She asked.

"Someday Jackie," Warrick laughed as he left the print lab.

Warrick found Grissom hunched over his desk deep in thought. Their efforts on trying to find Sara were limited, due to the fact that she was their coworker. It was up to day shift to find their missing friend.

Grissom feared the worst for Sara.

"Hey Gris," Warrick greeted him solemnly. "Jackie got a hit from the bracelet. The owner was Christopher Simmons. He's wanted in several states for minor charges, which have now been upgraded to murder."

Grissom pursed his lips.

"So was this related or random?" He asked.

"I say related," Warrick said. "I mean, why try and kill two guys over a transport vehicle? With a possible witness inside?"

"People do strange things," Grissom explained.

Warrick nodded.

VVV

Christopher Simmons noticed that his allergy bracelet was missing somewhere, and he panicked. He figured that the girl they abducted must have yanked it off as they struggled with her in the back of the transport vehicle.

He rubbed his now naked wrist, hoping that no one would notice his bracelet in the middle of the Nevada desert.

He stood faithfully next to his commanding officer, Lee Mulligan. He was on the police force for over twenty years, and he had seen enough of his friends and their families suffer from lack of representation in the city of Las Vegas. His ideas for a better city, a better community, and a better police force were always put at the bottom of the agenda for a new casino project or endorsement dinner for the city's police chief and mayor.

Lee was quite a brawny man, well built, and of tall stature. He was physically and mentally fit, and he served on the LVPD with pride and he was respected and honored.

When he got shot in the thigh three years back, the force forced him to retire, and now he was living out of a boarding house with six other people barely making ends meet. To say that the man was bitter would be an understatement.

His efforts thus far were towards waking up Las Vegas, and getting its constantly diverted attention.

Lee couldn't explain the major screw up with the highway explosions. No one was supposed to die. It was supposed to draw attention to Utopia America and its intentions. But the school bus explosion and the one child that lost his life: he was sad to say that was intentional. His point was that people's lives were going to be sacrificed unless changes were made and demands were met.

"Commander Mulligan," Chris started.

"Yes?" Lee answered.

"Are you ready to state the ransom?"

He nodded slowly.

Another cadet signaled a countdown for him to start.

Meanwhile, Sara lay in the same dark, dank place with her eyes closed. She wasn't sleeping, she was blocking out what was happening to her, receding further and further into the back of her mind. Where she was, this wasn't happening to her. Wherever her soul was, it was smart enough to help her get out of her horrible isolating situation.

In her quest to rid herself of the bad experience, she had bitten all of her fingernails down to the skin, drawing blood. There was no pain because she was not in the present and not one accord with her body.

"Come here," a small, child's voice echoed from somewhere in the confines.

She became aware of it, and began looking around.

"_Come here_," the voice insisted.

Sara followed.


	12. Chapter Twelve

Fear Itself

Chapter Twelve

Catherine was just exiting the restroom when she saw a procession of suits walk past her down the hallway.

She saw a familiar face, and her blood boiled immediately. He gave her that ugly, cocky smirk and in response, she flicked him off in her bad mood. Agent Culpepper had returned to make another fine mess. He only laughed and winked at her, picking up with his flirtations where he left off.

Little did he know that she was already taken by another man and that she was expecting that man's child.

She walked to the locker room and sat down.

She was utterly exhausted and she was very ill from the baby. The nausea kept coming in fierce waves and she felt like she had to vomit all of the time. Her face was very pale, and she tried her best to return their color to them, but to no avail.

She still did not know what to tell Warrick. She had to tell him soon, because she was getting the feeling that she might not be able to if she stalled on it any longer. Time was definitely of the essence, and she had to be honest with the man she loved.

Catherine didn't know when she was supposed to catch Warrick now that the FBI was involved with their investigation.

She sighed and rubbed her belly in despair.

"Hey," she heard his familiar deep voice greet her.

She was surprised at Warrick's entrance and she immediately removed her hand from her womb.

"Hey," she said quietly. "What are you doing in here?"

He looked at her strangely.

"Well, first of all, the locker room's a public place," he quipped. "Secondly, I saw you come in here. Is everything okay?"

Catherine sighed and looked down at her feet.

"No," she admitted. "Everything has just gotten so complicated and scary. Sara's out who knows where with a bunch of maniacs, and we're still here in the lab, _talking_ about what to do next instead of acting on it."

Warrick sat next to her and rubbed her back as she began to weep.

"I'm so sorry that I've been ignoring you for all of these weeks," she wept. "It's just that I thought that what we had was a mistake and just something to make ourselves feel better, but I was wrong. I was so wrong. I love you Warrick. I really love you and I can't even go a day without thinking about you or the baby-"

She stopped abruptly when she realized what she said and she looked at him with wide eyes.

Warrick didn't seem all that surprised.

"So you are pregnant for sure?" Warrick asked, taking her hands in his.

She was obviously confused.

"But, how did you-"

"I just noticed the little stuff," he said. "The moodiness, your tiredness."

"I have been a real bitch over the last few weeks haven't I?" She asked in a chuckle.

"No, you just seemed…preoccupied and agitated all the time," Warrick explained.

She smiled and leaned over and hugged him.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the baby sooner," she whispered.

"How far along are you?" Warrick asked, pulling away to inspect her form.

"A little over two months," she said, smiling brightly. "You aren't upset?"

"No, of course not," he said, cupping her face in his hands. "I love you."

He kissed her lips gently and put his hands on her belly. It was still flat as a board, but he new that in the next month or so, that would change. But at the moment, he had to concentrate on keeping Catherine and his unborn child safe.

"Cathy," he started. "Why don't you go home and rest? This case is getting more dangerous every hour. I don't want anything to happen to you or the baby."

"No, I can't sit out from this!" She exclaimed. "I'm not leaving you. We're in this together."

Warrick sighed and ran a hand over his face.

"Catherine, please just go home and let me, Gris and Nick work on finding Sara," he begged of her. "You need to rest and calm yourself down for the baby's sake."

"Me and the baby will be fine," she snapped. "I'm in this as much as you are."

"I wish you wouldn't be so stubborn," he hissed at her. "You're two months pregnant and you want to go chasing after the psychos that abducted Sara? Does that sound logical to you?"

Catherine glared at him then she got up and headed out.

"I'm staying on this case," she said firmly, turning to him. "I promise I won't let anything happen to the baby."

With that, she walked out, and Warrick sighed in frustration with his pregnant girlfriend.

He followed after her, being careful not to carry on the conversation in the hallways. She purposefully walked faster, knowing that he was behind her. She was in no mood to talk about what she should and should not do. She knew how to take care of herself and the baby. Warrick was being overprotective of her as usual, and he would be on her case all day if she didn't relent. She weighed the option of either listening to Warrick and going home, or having to put up with his insistence.

She made her decision clear by entering the layout room and asking for the latest details of the case, her eyes never leaving Warrick's eyes.

VVV

"Shit!" Chris Simmons yelled. "She's gone! The girl's gone!"

He tossed various objects about the now vacant dim space in anger and stormed out.

Now their phone call to the police would have a totally different tone.

"Commander Mulligan," he began. "We have a problem sir."

VVV

The sun was beating down on her frail body, but she kept walking aimlessly. Sara had managed to escape the holding place, and now, she was wandering about the desert, disoriented and too far gone to concentrate on how she would save herself.

Sara neared a highway, and she continued walking slowly; only her body was working. Her mind had ceased to start up again and now she was only left to follow what her body was telling her.

Down the road, a state trooper was just finishing up writing a ticket for a driver who was speeding when he turned and saw Sara making her way. He dropped his ticket pad, and the driver of the outdated blue Geo Metro got out of the car and they looked on for a few moments in shock.

"You go see if she needs any help, and I'll call emergency services," the trooper said. "Now!"

The driver tentatively approached a heavy lidded Sara.

"Miss, are you alright?" He asked slowly.

She did not answer, she only continued her walking right past him until he wrapped his arms around her when she started to stumble.

The trooper came over to the stumbling pair and helped them up.

"She's almost dead on her feet," he said grimly. "Miss, can you tell us your name?"

Sara did not respond. Her eyes fell closed and she became a deadweight in the driver's arms.

"Oh God!" the panicked driver shrieked. "She's unconscious. What are we going to do?"

"The ambulance is on its way," the trooper assured the driver. "She's got no ID, and I didn't hear anything about a missing persons…yet. Just make sure that she's still breathing."

The trooper went back to his patrol cruiser and picked up his receiver.

"This is Officer Tom Morrison reporting a young woman in her thirties found walking out here in the middle of the desert," the trooper began. "Has there been a missing persons report issues over the last forty eight hours?"

"Not in the last forty eight hours, but an abduction was reported about eight hours ago," another officer responded. "She works at LVPD. The crime lab. Her name's Sara Sidle, she's thirty four years of age, about five foot nine, very frail build, brown hair, brown eyes, gap in her front teeth. She's mentally unstable, so she may not know what's going on."

"I think we've found her," Officer Morrison said.

VVV

Agent Culpepper again rubbed in the fact that he received most of the credit for the Strip Strangler case three years back. Grissom was clearly annoyed and he promptly told him to start his presentation of what to do next.

"CSI Sidle is one of your own," he started, surprisingly sympathetically. "So that's why we're going to do everything in our power to try and get her back to you as soon as possible."

He sorted out various information on the table.

"Utopia America is a very hostile group," he started again. "At the FBI they've been listed as homeland terrorists and we're trying to shut down all of their operations, funding and compounds. There are two compounds right here in Nevada. One of them the main headquarters."

Grissom looked at the photos and the maps.

"They're tough cookies because they're trained by ex cops and other law enforcement operatives," Catherine jumped in. "They're on some mission to 'purify' society and to get better representation for families of fallen officers. They're starting with Las Vegas."

"That's right Willows," Agent Culpepper said. "Where did you obtain that information?"

"Internet," she quipped.

There was a small chuckle from everyone but Culpepper, who was red with embarrassment.

Grissom noticed that there was something different about Catherine. She looked physically sick and run down, and she was slightly wobbly on her feet; her hands were gripping the table every few minutes to steady herself.

"How do you plan on infiltrating?" Warrick asked. "They've probably got security everywhere."

"As usual, you can leave the specifics up to us," Culpepper teased haughtily. "Once we've cleared out their compounds, you guys are free to step in. We've got your SWAT on standby, and the suspects should be calling soon with demands."

Then, all of the CSIs' beepers went off. Grissom's face registered shock.

"Sara's been found," he said as he rushed out of the layout room.


End file.
